How Amazing

Out came the bubbly this week because I passed a milestone.

For the first time since I launched Asking Kaz, the number of people who have used it doubled – in one day!

It’s fabulous to know that others think it’s a great site too.

All the same, I could do with your help.

There must be something I can do to make the profile more attractive and I would appreciate any suggestions you can offer…

• how to improve it
• does the opening page tell you what you want to know?
• what’s missing?
• How to get more people to know about it
• Is the profile easy to use?

And you’ll benefit…

I’ll send a surprise gift to everyone who takes the time to get in contact with me at my personal email address: mistresskaz@gmail.com.

I’m looking forward to hearing from you.

Here’s to lovin’ and learnin’.
   
 

 

 

 

 

 

p.s., I can’t wait to hear from you.

Have you made this mistake about sex?

If you hop in a car and start driving without any idea where you’re going, will you get to where you need to go?
How could you?

Do you hop into bed with a hottie and get hyper with little to no idea why or where it’s taking you? It doesn’t matter if it’s with a newbie or the usual, the thriller or the habitual, the question still applies.

So what should you do?

Have a brain shutdown and enjoy the moment?

Take a guess and muddle on?

Or…

Go find the real turn-ons and set an intention or two – more caring, keeping eye contact, taking turns to pop first, taking advantage of some spontaneity, actively initiating something adventurous, a really daring date… The goals don’t have to be right, they just need to be what you want at the time.

That way you learn.

You can ask others and take the risk the answers might be relevant.

Or you can listen to your inner-self (learn how to do this in the e-book Follow my Knows).

To ask the right questions, it makes sense to know more about your basics.

Particularly the ones you take for granted.

Like sex.

There are lots of books and advice available about the how to be a super-gymnast or a thrill-junkie but how many let you in on the real secret?

Sex and passion are unique for each of us – there’s no standard issue formula or how-to manual for your personal fulfilment and satisfaction.

That’s for you to find.

That’s where Asking Kaz comes in.

Your sex profile gives you the most important tool in your ardour arsenal – your compass to your own personal pleasure centre.

There’s nothing more basic than sex.

Don’t leave it to chance.

Here’s to lovin’ and learnin’.
 
 
 

p.s what are you doing tonight to rekindle the sizzle?

When did you last dance?

My friend pissed me off yesterday.

She went to see Mao’s Last Dancer and all she could do was complain about how different it was to the book.

Hello???

Were we watching the same movie?

Did she see his courage and sense of humour while struggling with a language he had only learned from a book.

She must have missed the drama of separation not only between lovers but from Cunxin’s homeland.

Did she miss the uber-dedication from his early years when he danced like an unhappy frog to soaring so gracefully he introduced us mortals to the world of the divine.

Sure there was the usual hype of blatant stereotyping of the communist regime but the story balanced that with the emotional reunion with his parents and his eventual return to his home village. Stirring stuff.

I guess it’s all in the way you want to look at things. My friend was wanting a replica of the awareness she enjoyed with the book. The movie did it differently - no book could portray the awesome talent and elegance of actually watching the choreography.

So expressively. Who needed words when he told his story?

And inspired others to do the same.

To tell your story with movement.

You don’t have to be a Li Cunxin to do that.

To show your lover you’re for real.

When did you last dance?

Here’s to lovin’ and learnin’.
 
 

 

Are you afraid you’ll miss out?

Hey diva's, are you worried about your biological clock?

Are you under pressure to conform because other’s will think you’re frigid because you don’t want to have sex with the macho stud?

Hey, guys, do you wonder why the other stud's all have those super-hot dates they skite about while you’re quite happy to have a chat and a cuddle with your girlfriend in the back seat of your dad’s car?

Perhaps you are one of the ones who won’t take a risk because it can be embarrassing?

• What if he sneers at you because you’re not an experienced kisser?
• What if she rejects you when you ask her out on a date? 

Guess what? All these happen to everyone at some stage of their sex lives. You have two choices:

• Play the poor-fellow-me game and drop out of life; or
• Get over it and go have some more practice.  

It’s not as if there’s a partner-famine or an action-drought. It’s your choice to make a big deal out of it.

I’m not downplaying the effects of rejection and the like – rather, the effects are usually magnified by our imaginations when we let our ego get in the way and not look beyond the hurt to find new horizons.

There is another way. We can always learn from the experience and look for those things that are clearly important to us.

• Was your choice of partner an accident or something you sought?
• What did you look for?
• Where did you look?
• Did you rely on someone else’s opinion?
• Were you putting out for, putting up with or going for it?
• Did you have a clue what you wanted? 

If you want to know the answers to these questions, you might consider checking out your sex profile on Asking Kaz. Why not give it a try?

“Know thyself” has been around for millennia.

Here’s to lovin’ and learnin’.

Don’t read this if you’re a wimp.

There’s no avoiding it – there is a degree of risk attached to everything we do.

• We could slip in the bath and break our necks…
• We could be thinking of something else and accidentally put a spoon in the toaster instead of the bread…
• The brakes on the car could fail on a steep hill…
• We could get a cramp mid-bonk…
• Yarditty-yarditty…

Give me a break.

If we go through life expecting the worst, that’s what we are looking for and that’s what we’ll likely find.

If we let our doom and gloom imagination take control, it’s a sure way to find unhappiness, by the bucket load.

The reality is, the mega-possibilities just don’t happen. We have challenges, sure, but somehow we survive most of them and if we’re still breathing, we’ve got a head start on those who aren’t.

There’s no magic cocoon that will shelter us from all the hassles that come our way by the thousands each day. Most of them we ignore because they did not happen to the extent that they became a catastrophe.

Does it take courage to keep going? Most time it takes determination and persistence and if they are the essential ingredients of courage, then I guess the answer’s “yes”.

Pretty simple formula – just keep going.

The only way to be a wimp is to give up on yourself.

Here’s to lovin’ and learnin’.
 
 

No place for sex in la-la land

Some think it’s possible to live in a perfect world where everything goes our way all the time. That’s la-la land.

Others know it’s possible to live in a world where we can adapt all the time. That’s what we choose to make it.

It’s all very well to expect happiness, peace, joy, love, wellness and harmony as our right but what about grief, anger, despair, hate, sickness and chaos? Shutting our eyes and pretending there’s not a downside is like valuing the left (logic) hemisphere of our brain and ignoring the presence and function of the right (creative) side.

We need both. The “positive” and the “negatives”. This is the true human experience and how we cope with challenges and achievements is what makes up the tapestry of our legacy.

We can be creative just as easily as we can be defensive.

Our bodies react differently with each release of a hormone. They are there for a purpose. Maybe to give us the strength to lift something heavy off a trapped child. To run more quickly. To be still at a time of loss.

We respond differently sexually as well. The hormone mix of the time includes all the ones that make us sad, strong, sexy and so on. Every moment of our lives is full of these surprises and the more we know what makes us tick, the more we not only cope but also thrive.

If we know we are going to flash every time someone aggravating comes into the room – it becomes our choice to be there in the first place or to prepare ourselves beforehand if avoidance is not an option.

If we know our sexual needs, don’t we have more control over our lives? The Asking Kaz sex profile is an invaluable way to take this control.

And choose acceptance and gratitude every time.

And leave the la-la land to those who choose ignorance.

Here’s to lovin’ and learnin’.
 

Couples Battle on as they Retreat

I enjoyed an interesting movie today: Couples Retreat - a delicious blend of hilarity and light drama that combined tantalisingly to hold me and to want more.

Movies are the playground of human emotions and Couples Retreat is a classic illustration of this. The story cleverly intertwines traditional stereotypes of gender roles with the challenge of characters coming to grips with a more authentic expression of their inner-selves. Especially sexually.

The role of the “guru” and the “expert” are mercilessly lampooned in a Resort setting to die for. As the days pass, isolation and relaxation combined to inspire healing and closure to ill-fitting expectations by spouses and friends alike.

Sure there was the almost obligatory gooey, feel-good ending where all end up together happily ever after but there was more to it than that. There was a strong message that couples can live together for years and not have a clue about each other’s needs and wants.

It was tremendous to watch a movie that explored sex roles in such an open and often confronting way. The message was clear – know your sexual needs and it is up to you to fulfil them.

And to let your partner know, honestly and sensitively.

Blame is a waste of breath.

Here’s to lovin’ and learnin’.

p.s. Do you know your sex profile? How about your partner’s? It’s as easy as visiting http://www.askingkaz.com/

The Magic of André Rieu

Last night I enjoyed the Sydney opening of André Rieu’s concert tour of Australia.

He’s been entertaining people throughout the world for 30 years now and his magic is undiminished. A master showman.

His goal has been to bring the joy and excitement of classical music to everyday people, to demystify the harmonics of the orchestra and, above all, to have fun.

He certainly did that last night.

Even our own Dame Edna was there – with her grandson playing the violin. Awesome.

With thousands of people enthralled for the almost three hours.

So what is his magic?

• · his obvious talent?
• · his charisma? 
• · his determination and drive?
• · his music?
• · the glitz?

 I’d like to ask him personally but I suspect it is more that he knew what he wanted and he did it.

A simple formula that is much easier to say than to achieve.

I know it is something that took me too many years to do and to realise that there are many basic issues facing me each day that are clouded by distractions. Do I have enough money? Do I look alright? Is my house okay? What do the neighbours think of my car?

Most of those are irrelevant.

I need to ask: “Am I making my own music?”

Thank you, André. It was a wonderful night.

Here’s to lovin’ and learnin’.

 p.s. Did you say “thanks for a wonderful night” to your partner this morning?

Eight letters to better sex

The challenge with sex is that you either have too much or not enough.

Too much, you say? Are you kidding? Maybe you wish that was your problem.

Too much is when you don’t want it or it isn’t fun any more. Maybe the honeymoon wore off for one of you and you’re just not interested any more? Maybe you’re an addict and can’t stop? Maybe you don’t need a partner anymore.

And too little sex? Big sigh.

Don’t know what to do?

The answer lies in the eight letter sexiest word around – intimacy.

“Oh, come on,” you say, “there’s a lot more to intimacy that sex.”

Wrong. Take sex out of intimacy and see what’s left.

Not a whole lot.

If you disagree with that, maybe you need to re-examine the meaning of sex.

We are sexual animals and denying that does not change the truth of the matter. More to the point, how do you have a fantastic sex life, 24/7, and do it as long as you want, no matter your age, gender, ability, experience or any other of the irrelevant conditions we love to flout?

Intimacy is your birthright.

Go get it.

Here’s to lovin’ and learnin’.

3 cheers for Britney Spears?

What a lot of hoo-ha Britney Spears has roused.

An artist singing something controversial.

How about that.

Has everyone forgotten the storm caused by the Bee Gees all those years ago? Fancy singing about drugs. Or Robbie William’s antics? Whatever’s happening to our standards?

Isn’t it one of the roles of an artist to reflect what is happening in the community, to challenge the taboos and to put them so far in your face that you can’t ignore them?

“She’s only doing it for the money.”

“She’s a mess. What else do you expect.”

“She’s crossed the line this time.”

Let’s drop the judgements, eh?

Her “why” is none of our concern, rather,

• we need to listen to what she sings,
• apply it to our lives,
• accept, reject or reserve our opinion,
• and get on with our own life,
• evaluate any judgement based on stereotypes or the forbidden.

Moral censorship is often used as a means of control. There are standards and if they can’t stand a challenge, what use are they? What survives is what people value and no amount of tut-tutting or cheering is going to change that.

The controversy around Britney’s lyrics highlights one thing – do we know enough about sex to be able to make an informed comment either way?

Maybe she’s touched a raw nerve. As another spear (Shakespeare) once said: “Methinks they do protest too much.” Maybe Britney’s song has hit someone’s fantasy bone a little too closely?

Here’s to lovin’ and learnin’.

p.s. In case you’re wondering, Asking Kaz does not promote, support or censor any form of sexual activity – that is for your informed decision. Our role is to provide an unbiased means for you to discover your personal sexual profile.

What’s left after sex?

What’s left if you take sex out of your life?

There are two ways to deal with this.

• The first is to admit how little we know about sex apart from the taboos and the mechanics. So to answer the question, we have to know more in order to give an informed response.

• The second is to realise that sex is intimately bound into the fabric of our lives, right down to the humblest cell. This makes the question a nonsense.

Either way, the challenge we all face is to know how much sex controls us and how much we control sex. Is it possible to know the difference? Are gender roles learned or inbuilt? Are they a bit of each?

Want be sexy? Don’t have a clue how to be?

Is sexy just being a pawn in the lust game? Are you too sophisticated to be sexy? Is it okay to merely be yourself (which is the sexiest thing you can do)? What are the rules?

These are far from trivial questions and if you don’t know the answers, you are headed for doo-doo land.

Big time.

The fantastic news is that you’re not alone and there is now a way to correct the missing link in your life. Deny it as you might, you are sexually aware 24/7. Don’t you deserve to learn how to enjoy it to the max.

Here’s to lovin’ and learnin’.

World’s Best Sex

Just when you thought it couldn’t get any better, along comes the way to guarantee a better sex life.

The way to sexual bliss is now within the grasp of anyone. Anywhere. Anytime.

It all depends on you. Literally.

We spend a fortune educating ourselves

• through school, college or university
• through hard won life experience
• attending seminars and workshops
• buying books
• zillions of hours building a career

But do we spend the time on learning about what is singularly the most important aspect of our lives? Our sexual needs.

There are personality profiles, health profiles, sports profiles, career profiles… all available but have you done your sex profile?

• What are your sexual needs?
• how can they be met if you don’t know what they are?
• Who or what controls your hormones?
• We all know what happens when they go crazy.
• Or if their demands are not met.
• What about your partner’s sexual profile?
• Once you know what that is, you can both zing.
• There are some things that definitely should not be left to chance.

After years of preparation by two counsellors with over 60 years of experience between them, the Asking Kaz Sex Profile has just been released.

At last, you don’t have to guess your needs (or his/hers). You can complete the survey and accurately assess six aspects of your sexual life as well as gain a clear insight about your love-ability. All in a comprehensive written report.

It’s all waiting for you.

Be prepared to be amazed.

Here’s to lovin’ and learnin’.